Homeward Bound

Well sitting in the lounge waiting to be called for my day in a plane. Still don't know how the carbuncle gets off the ground but looking forward to my Ikea bedroom. It's at times like these u need a Kane to cry, 'hand grenades all round' at the bar on the plane or Twigster to start his jolly japes including a slide down the pole from princes to paupers. Anyway looking forward to getting back onto Scottish terra firma and would expect radio silence, unless something dramatic happens on way to Dubai.
Home, where my thoughts escapin', home, where my music's playin'
Home, where my love lies waitin' silently for me

Beautiful Boy/Big Boys Don't Cry

An observation, on a day that is a day for the Sheila's in Oz it amazed me the number of butch Bruce's that took time out to give their sons a hug. Lost count of the number of times I saw this bonding today. Maybe helped by weather, but a few more daddy hugs could make the world a better place.
Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,








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Don't Dream it's Over

Probably one of the biggest musical influences on my life was Crowded House who I saw on 14 occasions. The one gig I never got to was their farewell concert on the steps of the Sydney Opera House in 1996 in front of 250,000 people. Bizarrely my new boss PW was there and also created an incident that could only be described as 'Fall at Your Feet'. I always vowed that if I was ever fortunate enough to visit Sydney. I would disappear into my 'Private Universe' and listen to the whole of the concert at the House with a bottle of wine. People will never understand what this would 'Mean to Me' but it was 'Something so Strong' that I had to do it and I did. a tear may have fallen at end, but at least I leave a part of me in this great city. 'Its Only Natural' that such a fan experiences this transcendental moment. While I listened and watched a 'Distant Sun' set, I was 'Together Alone' with the boys. Anyway I know that there are loved ones who say that I 'Better Be Home Soon', so I downed my last sip, tipped my cap to the Finn brothers but will make sure that I 'Dont Dream it's Over'.

Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart







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Accidents will Happen

Decide to go a decent ramble in Manlay which has the most fantastic rules with pedestrians having right of way, controlled paths and lots of lovely stop off benches. Start to climb upwards at Cabbage Tree Grove which is somewhere between Leek and Potato Lane and Carrot and Coriander Cove. Am suddenly aware of some movement to my left and there on a ridge is something that would not look out of place in Pokemon or Dr Who. Turns out it is a local Water Dragon. To quote Frank, 'Betty the donkeys done a whoopsie in the corridor', I almost needed my spare boxers! Turns out there is a $50000 fine and/or 6 months fine if you steal one. Not sure the penalty for soiling the walkway!

There's so many fish in the sea
That only rise up in the sweat and smoke like mercury
But they keep you hanging on
They say you're so young
Your mind is made up but your mouth is undone


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Road to Manlaybay/Surfs Up

Although I had a brilliant trip to Bondi yesterday the weather was not its best and instead of packing my budgie smugglers should have packed my Galvin Greens. Well today is Mothers Day in Oz and I think my wonderful mum must have been looking down on me and arranged the most fantastic weather for my final few hours.
Take the ferry to Manlay and met with beautiful weather and beaches. Having packed already I have come budgieless, but am determined to have a paddle in he Pacific. Runners and socks off, jeans to knees and hankie on head I paddle for 30 minutes amongst surfers, volleyballers, skateboarders and generally cool dudes. Unfortunately on occasions surf higher than my knee and jeans soaked. Am pretty certain I then mounted a board and performed a couple of 180s to rapturous applause. I even got a picture of me below, but sometimes the strong sun makes you look thinner than you actually are!
Surfs up aboard a tidal wave








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Location:Manly,Australia

Power to all our Friends/My Perfect Cousins (kinda)

Well a visit to the Bondi and a lunch date with the moll's Irish cousins who find themselves over here working at present. Parked my arse at the Bucket List which is a cool place on the edge of the beach. Has a fascinating story behind it. Waiting for the gals I get a bottle of SB and just enjoying when it starts to rain, despite the maitre de sheelar stating it wouldn't. She certainly ain't a Sian Lloyd. The girls arrive and we polish off a couple of jugs of Pimms and a jug of Sangria along with some great scran. A quick FaceTime back to home base at 6am GMT and Bob's yer uncle (technically not) we are off and running. A quick photo opportunity in the drizzle as we gesticulate to a Japanese visitor. Click, click, click and its all over. Was brill to have a real Power lunch and great to catch up after ages.








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It's Bream a Hard Day's Pike

Got up at crack of cockatoos and decided a power walk around Sydney streets was in order. 60 minutes I hit the Sydney fish market which was cooler than cool. In amongst the landings and auctions of fresh fish, there is a culinary theme park of all that is fishy with live, dead, stuffed all displayed together. As it was brekkie time decided to throw myself into the moment and at 08.37 ordered myself grilled flounder and chips, pictured below.
Took me back to childhood days on Troon's South Beach when as nippers we used to spear flounders and if only fresh ginger, chilli, coriander and lemongrass had been invented my career could have taken a more culinary course. At first I did feel kinda guilty as Flounder is a key actor within Little Mermaid, however if I had ever managed a dream date with Ariel he would have been a pain in the arse, so with that in mind I devoured it with added pleasure.








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Why does it always rain on me/Tiny bubbles

It never rains but it pours! Left work early to have a meeting with our good friends at Thomson Reuters and they were so pleased to see me that they crossed my palm with a couple of Stella Bella's. It was only as I sipped my last mouthful that I advised that Sydney office would not need their system as their Compliance will be supported from HK and Edinburgh. I appreciate that I will be in front of Miss Marple Thornton when I return home, but I can assure him the liquid was purely medicinal and required to mitigate dehydration and was no way intended to be any form of inducement from their part.
Things got worse when I stumbled across the Opera Bar, post work, and having purchased a SB I relaxed by the water enjoying a sunset over/under the bridge. Guy next to me asked if I was enjoying view, I said loving it and then he enquired if I was a jock. Turns out they were a bunch of Investment Bankers out for their standard Friday libation and they had another posh jock, Bearsden, in their company. Friday night is Veuve Clicquot night mainly to impress the females, however as an honorary jock I was invited to join the Friday tradition. 5 glasses later feeling really guilty I bid my farewell. Anyway feeling a bit better now as I compose this over another Stella Bella purchased by my own scheckles, SPs favourite tipple. life can be a bitch.
Tiny bubbles in the wine, make me feel happy, make me feel fine!








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Basket Case/Dazed and Confused

Got a yellow card from the moll this morning, when I made her aware of the wonderful food I had eaten since I arrived. Slow cooked beef rib, beef sandwich, chicken salad, PB&J every morning and Aberdeen Angus steak. The common theme appears to be that they are hardly classified as Aussi tucker. The moll says unacceptable and that if I don't start on the tucker I may be deported! So I arrive at work this morning and before I can say fair dinkum, the wonderful Muriel shouts out PB&J on Wholemeal with an OJ. How could I disappoint her. I will try better and promise to update with a tuckericious episode in next 24 hours.
Do you have the time, to listen to me whine?












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On Top of the World/I Can See for Miles

Well it was time to say goodbye to a couple of the Aussi Angels, Di and Nat, who made my stay both productive and enjoyable. They would give Aileen 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' Ramage a run for her money when it came to organising. We all went to Bar O on the 47th floor of Didgerreedoo Tower and watched the sunset over the Blue mountains, although the red and blue didn't end up with purple. For the next 5 hours the wine, scran and banter flowed and thanks to Nat generously sharing her hot spot, I was able to share the views with my wonderful Edinburgonian colleagues. Appreciate they probably didn't appreciate the gesture at the beginning of a hard working day, but I wanted to share what was one of the most breathtaking views I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Particularly loved The Rock's unflinching expression, even views of the harbour bridge and Opera house did not impact his judge like expression. The Antipodean ladies appreciated the cameo roles from some of the other male supporting actors, but I quickly gave a reality check on their real looks and explained that the lens the other side must have been distorted. The camera never lies, by jingo it does; ever seen Tom Cruise close up? After our 6th revolution we were escorted off the premises with legs slightly unsteady, must have been the altitude. I managed to say my farewells to Di and Nat and could swear I felt moisture in my eyes.....must have been the altitude.


Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in 'most ev'ry thing I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream






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New Adventures in Wifi/Lost in Translation

Well almost another international incident created. When recalling my adventures in the swimming pool this morning, the wonderful Di, said she hoped I was not in my 'budgie smuggler's'. I had no idea what she was talking about until they explained this was the Aussie word for Speedos. Thereafter followed some humorous banter that probably fell short of the standards expected at a premier nee leading global asset manager.
Roll forward 2 hours and our very own Jill 'let me tell you a story' Shaw returned from another positive session and started logging into her pc. Being hitec the office is fully wifid and unknown to Jill her old keyboard had been set up for me. So as Jill is trying to update on her pc, I am trying to remember the hysterical budgie reference but couldn't recall the phrase. So as I google 'budgie smotherer' in a 6th Sense moment, Google morphs up on her screen with the phrase 'budgie smotherer' appearing letter by letter. It's not often that Jill is lost for words, but I did witness it. Was totally affronted but was rescued by the others as to my reasons. Bizarrely 2 minutes earlier I had been looking for an article on Thomson Reuters about Finland's additional requirements for KIIDs that came out yesterday. I fear explaining 'Finnish KIIDs' may have been a more difficult explanation.
Please don't let me be misunderstood.








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Locked Out/Freak

At last another Frank Spencer moment. Clearly forgetting who or what I am, I was intoxicated by the local fitness regime and decided to go for a swim/paddle when the pool opened at 6.30. They operate an electronic locker system, like Dalmahoy. I used my usual 4 digit number, but lo and behold when I finished my paddle/paddle kaboom it didn't work. Tried another 4 times, as its the only number I ever use. Then disaster as a piercing alarm is triggered. By this time there is a couple of jet lagged poms who clearly did not appreciate this added inconvenience and clearly on hearing my accent assessed that I was probably at it. A security guy arrived and switched off and then another arrived and asked me for a description of the contents. Fortunately no one else likely to have a bath robe and a pair of lime green socks with a hotel key card stuffed in them. I leave the scene with my tail between my sea legs. I don't belong here.....



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Running to stand still

The one thing that strikes you when you stroll around Sydney is that you are the only person strolling around Sydney! Jogger Central, everyone jogs at any time, it is a shell-suited shangrilla with the various colours passing you by every step of the way. It looks to me like joggers have right of way over cars and the constant sound of rubber meeting tarmac and the gentle excess breathing is new music to my ears. As you can see from below the Sheerlaghs also don their finest makeup for the activity. Am sure I saw a joggerwash yesterday where the joggers can get a bronze, silver or gold wash while on the run with an extra buff for those choosing the gold service! I can only watch with awe and great appreciation (whoever they are). Let me hear your body talk.
















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Our House

Having finished my tingling taste bud pure healthy chicken and coriander salad I head for the kitchen to clean up my fine bone china bowl only to be advised put it in the dishwasher. Cleaning my ears out I ask Nat to spray that again and she repeated 'put it in the dishwasher'. Not only do these guys have a view from heaven, but to save them chipping their finely manicured nails they also have a kitchen that wouldn't look out of place in an Ideal Homes Exhibition. As I explore the tardis that is on the 30th floor of Theyshallnotbementioned Tower, I come across foot spas, massage chairs, sauna and steam room in the stationery cupboard! As well as that the office is fully wifid up and never any need to leave your seat, unless of course you want to chill out in their indoor ski slope that is behind the photocopier. The decor us so pure and untouched that I felt guilty powdering my nose, the male palace of convenience looked pristine and I felt the same guilt when being the first to walk on the first snow if winter.
Based on a true story!








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Sisters are doing it for themselves

Well first day down in Sydney and after a quick freshen up at hotel head to the office. Quick greetings with the gals and then a run to the window to finally grab a sight of the posh singing hoose. Stunning! The Aussi Angels make me feel so at home and before I can say 'put another shrimp on the barbi Sheerlagh' I have the most perfect PB&J on toast I have ever had. Nat and Di are the perfect hostesses and are pivotal in settling me in nice and easy. I previously called them the golden girls, a reflection on their location, however they reminded me the real golden girls average age 80 was not biggest compliment they have been paid, so I will revert to Aussi Angels. As well as being perfect hostesses, they both shoot from hips, as per photo, and certainly call a spade a f.....g shovel. Our very ain Jill Shaw joins us at end of day and immediately takes over a global call with her why say in a sentence what you could say in a mini novel approach! Great to be in the presence of such class and look forward to being put in my place again over next few days!
Standing on their own 2 feet and ringing on their own bells!




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Wow/Shiny Happy People

Well 9 hours of been thrown around in an extra large tin can and I finally arrive in Sydney, just in time for rush hour traffic. Arrive at hotel and they let me freshen up in the gym that helps me deweedge myself before meetings today. Quick walk for fresh air at lunch and lo and behold there they are the 8th wonder of the world. Quite often when you see a landmark you are underwhelmed, but by jingo the bridge and the house are something special and looking forward to getting the camera in and around them later. On way back I pick up a chicken and coriander salad so that I blend in with the locals.









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With a little help from your friends

Problem solved. I now know why Cathy has a surname of Pacific...she is awesome. A couple of calls to Bruce in Canberra and Bob's your uncle. The golden ticket is presented and off I disappear to the lounge. Many thanks to the folks back home who helped and reassured me. Also thanks for the innovative proposed solutions involving slow boats from China and ancient cargo planes filled with livestock. Your suggestions and thoughts were well appreciated.





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Looks like I missed again/All those little things

Stop press, my exit from Hong Kong has currently been declined as my visa shows a passport number with 1 digit of a difference. Cathy trying to call immigration in Canberra, but they are probably all round a barby with some golden nectar. I will get an update in 30 mins. I gotta bit of trouble Betty.





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I Dream to Sleep

Looking at the upside I have been able to say goodnight to the family both nights since I have been here at 3am local time! I thought I would stay up later last night, but unfortunately the biological clock still woke me up at 3am and am feeling slightly nae significantly tireder than yesterday. Matchsticks would come in handy today. Need to find a method of getting some sleep on the Sydney flight this evening and hoping to challenge Richard Ashcroft's statement that the drugs don't work. Another busy and very useful day today and off to sunnier climes this evening.


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Donald where's yer Troosers

Well the night reaches an end and just as I am about to depart a rogue of true Bravehearts enter the scene and take over proceedings. The group of Aussies next to me ask if they are the genuine article, referring to their kilt ware. My assessment is that they are not true Jocks but one Sheila approaches them and asks the question. As she said its not how good your motor is but how long the boat is? An aboriginal quotation beyond me. I retire gracefully and find a complimentary box of gummies in my room. Deflated with the contents. Never mind lets see what happens 'when tomorrow comes'.






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City of Blinding Lights

Every picture tells a story.





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A really productive day in Times Square soaking in all the info about the Asian market. Big thanks to Jacquie G and Jason that introduced me to the world of Asia. Nice office but they are moving soon. Biggest intrigue was the ' 'Executive Toilet' that is for executives only. What is behind that locked door? Linen toilet rolls, heated mahogany seats and ornate water features? I will never know but maybe one day William will spill the beans.






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Location:My House/Behind the Green Door

Joe le Taxi

A wonderful day topped by a lovely meal with colleague JG. A myriad of wonderment including; peanut and lemongrass chicken, salmon fish cakes, rosemary and sea salt potato wedges, tandoori chicken and baked Brie and garlic served with toasted bread. Washed down with some Marlborough SB. All going well until taxi home where we were picked up by an elderly local. Despite giving him directions he was going his way until JG bellowed 'this is not good enough' and assertively advised him he was well off track. As I left the cab JG assured me she would sort out the meter. I am sure she will, she has offered to take me after work to a wet market where they kill and skin the livestock in front of you. Raw meat for the gallery. I think I should video and remind everyone the downside of risk events!








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Location:Cannon Street,Causeway Bay,Hong Kong