Watcher of the Skies

As I sat down at the rooftop bar last night couldn't help noticing the birds circling. No pigeons or starlings here, but a pterodactyl eaglesque beast that soared and circled close to the hotel. Appreciate that I may look like a tasty morsel from afar but found out this is the normal pattern for the local black kite that tends to hunt for rubbish. British servicemen nicknamed it the sh1te hawk due to its eating habits. Don't suppose mine are normally any better.


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The Race

Wow this place is busy, like Lulu's on a Friday night. Biggest challenge to date that hasn't involved food is crossing the road and ensuring I miss the retro trams. It's a bit like the start of a marathon with crossings being about 50 yards wide and several rows deep. I held my own and did pretty good timing crossing the road. Elbows firmed and pointed out in case anyone tried to pass. The meeting in the middle was interesting but years of the Dashing White Sergeant came to great use.





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All Kinds of Everything/I Surrender

Well my wonderful colleagues, Jacquie G, Shukya, Jason and Anton, took me out for a wonderful lunch. Dim Sum was the order of the day. We set ground rules; fork for the ignorant visitor and no talk of chicken feet, jellyfish or abalone. To be fair they said they preferred duck feet anyway. A veritable feast was presented tapas style so I never knew when to wave the white hankie. Favourite was the crackling pork with a mustard from the flames of hell but the other 15 dishes were also great. Image below of the sesame desert that was pleasant to all the senses. Having drunk 1 cup of tea in my lifetime before this visit, I polished off 8 cups of a fragrant floral jasmine and an earthy Theakstons bitter type called something Budha, the latter could put hairs on your chest. I ain't know tea Jenny or tea Trevor but am getting fond of this obligatory refreshment. No longer sure about my half stone weight loss on this visit!





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Food for Thought/China Crisis II

Well I decided tonight is the night for trying traditional Chinese Fayre as tomorrow night may threaten the next leg of journey. First laughable issue was my request for a knife and fork as I didn't know how to use the chopsticks. Appeared to bring chortles from others in the packed restaurant. I am then presented with various appetisers, the image below. I have no idea what I am eating and what to do with the fiery chilli sauces, but make the mistake of saying I really like the dish on the right which is beans or roe and low and behold the waiter comes back with another portion to my horror. Now looking for some plants aka Mr Bean. Could be a very long night.The starter of crackling pig and plum sauce is divine and my only quandary is the various finger towels that the waiters bring. Am I meant to eat with my fingers? Having now had my chicken with ginger and pineapple I realise that when you ask for chicken over here you pretty much get the whole chicken and breast seems to be replaced by thigh, wing and foot which may be tastier but is a finger lickin' challenge.



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Where the Streets have no Names/Never too old to Rock 'n Roll

Wow what a vibe. My brief walk around the hotel and felt like Royal Mile on Fringe Sunday, Piccadilly Circus and Sauchiehall Street on a Saturday night rolled into one and then on acid. As well as all the vibes and healthy foods at most corners was the equivalent on William, James and I in Speedos doing some kind of hypnotic yoga exercises. Something for everyone. The R&C girls would have great joy in a lot of the local shops, but all passes me by with the exception of a new lens for the camera. Looks like this city don't sleep, but I will !!!!





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Tea for Two/The Gft/Money's too tight to Mention

Well arrived safe to hotel after a fascinating running commentary from the airport. Greeted by a complimentary Chinese tea, however would gladly trade for a can of Irn Bru and a Tunnocks teacake/wafer or log. I am sure Mr Keay would be delighted at the kind gift but just lukewarm water with bits of stick floating about. You can take the boy out of Glasgow.....
Everyone treats you in a friendly manner, but there does seem to be an expectation of gold passing their hands and having used up my allowance I made sure that when my bags were delivered to room, I had disappeared otherwise I will have to start IOUs. You can take the boy out if Scotland.....



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Funky Chicken Flu the Nest

There has been an increase in the number of bird flu cases on the China mainland over recent weeks and there is a significant number of locals wearing the obligatory masks. Looking at them I think they should go down the lanyard route and start to sponsor the masks. Would be good to see some Krispy Kreme masks the odd Jacquie Lowe Gucci branded mask and maybe even an ironic Kentucky Fried Chicken mask. As well as the masks there are many white coated locals thrusting breathalyser type devices into your face with people showing a red light being rushed away to some quarantine type facility. The sound is someone sneezing is akin to the strange happenings at the snooker last week with all eyes looking for the unwashed culprit. Managed to get by the white coated experts and 2 drug sniffing dogs....so my webcams must be pucka.


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